
Description
Step right up, folks… and grab the mug that’s about to become your seasonal personality trait. Why settle for boring white porcelain when you can cradle your coffee in glossy black ceramic perfection that screams “Yes, I love fall… and yes, I’m dead inside.”
On one side: Pumpkin Spice & Existential Dread.
On the other: Grounds for Concern.
Two moods. One glorious cup. Every sip is a reminder that autumn is here… and so is the crushing awareness of our fleeting mortality.
Whether you’re doomscrolling at sunrise or cozying up with a book you’ll never finish, this is the mug you’ll reach for every. single. time.
🎁 Great gift for:
🎃 Autumn lovers with a wicked sense of humor
☕ Coffee drinkers who laugh in the face of seasonal depression
🖤 Goths, ghouls, and cardigan hoarders
📚 The friend who starts every sentence with “I read somewhere…”
Summoning & Delivery Time
🖤 Every order is conjured fresh... We don’t keep dusty piles of shirts in a warehouse. Production usually takes 2–5 business days before your relic is shipped.
📦 Once it leaves the altar, delivery times depend on your location, but for U.S. orders: typically 3–7 business days
✨ You’ll always get tracking info so you can follow your relic’s journey from our cult to your doorstep.
Materials & Care
For those who like their coffee strong, their sarcasm stronger, and their mugs built for the apocalypse.
Materials & Details
☕ Material: Glossy ceramic, Built to survive many caffeine-fueled rituals
🔥 Printing: High-quality sublimation for vibrant, long-lasting color
⚡ Safety: BPA- and lead-free (we save our toxins for the gossip)
Care (keep your relic looking fresh):
• Dishwasher safe (top rack recommended for longest life)
• Microwave safe
• Wash with warm water and mild dish soap if hand cleaning
• Avoid abrasive scrubbers or bleach
• Do not soak for long periods, summon responsibly
Reviews from the Cult
Soft shirts. Dark souls. Glowing reviews.
They came for the chaos, stayed for the comfort.